The Quiet Brunette

Coffee, My Adventures and Me

Month: August, 2013

The Bad Coffee

What if the kids don’t like me?
What if I can’t make any friends?
What if I’m dubbed “The Weird Kid”?

I’m going back to school for the first time in seven years.  Seven years.
I feel old.
I spent 3 years being depressed.
I spent 3 years and 6 months working.
I spent 3 months being injured.
School: Priceless.  I had to.  School was actually six grand.  That’s a lot of money, but then I am reminded of people who are in debt with their student loans and have courses that cost them thousands of dollars.
I think I got off easy.  An eight month course where I get a certificate at the end and a real job.
I could have a normal Monday to Friday job, instead of this retail nonsense where you work weekends.
Just eight months and my boyfriend and I will get weekends off together and can actually plan things.
I could make a decent wage and actually afford to move out.  One can not move out on $800 a month.

This is my head right now.
I am convincing myself that I will be okay, that I will pass, that I will like this course and not be wasting six grand.
Then I look over at my ominous textbook and get nervous all over again.

My head is a messy place, example: school is in less than a week, I hope I can get there early to get my name tag and pay for things, I have to drive two hours to get there, will I have enough time for dinner?, I’m not going to get enough to eat, I’m going to be cranky, I’ll have to drink buckets of coffee, I’m never going to see my family or boyfriend, I need a place to study, study…I have to study, oh my gosh I have tests, I suck at tests, I have to work too….I’m really going to have no life until Christmas, I should start counting the days, is it bad to start counting the days until winter break when i haven’t even started school yet? Probably not.
Good grief.

To top it off I had bad coffee this morning, thanks to me lacking the proper tools to grind the beans. 

It was brown and didn’t smell strong and just tasted watery.

Problem? A coarse grind is my guess.

 

I am a coffee snob.

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The Last Week

It’s the last week before school.

I have all my school supplies, the majority of a Fall wardrobe (I did damage to my bank account at H&M last weekend), and I now own scrubs (not the tv show).

This week will consist of exercise, organizing my disaster of a bedroom, donating clothes, and making my bed.

Here’s the thing, I guess I technically live with my boyfriend but all my belongings are at my parents.  So, I haven’t made my bed in months.  It’s just sheets with a folded blanket on it, not really inviting.  Usually it has a pile of clothes on it as well because I live out a backpack on weekends and come Monday I tend to dump the contents onto my bed and continue on with my routine.

But this week will be my Fall cleaning/organizing week!

I think I’m distracting myself from my anxieties by cleaning.  I was diagnosed with anxiety/depression earlier this year.  To me, anxiety sounds like a made up disease but the heart pounding, the short breath, the sweaty palms all tells me that it is real.

The doctor suggested I take medication.  I did not want to but I held on to the pill bottle for 5 months until finally in July, I broke.  I had to try something.

School is starting soon, I feel like I should be anxious and I’m not.

It’s like I keep telling myself to be nervous and I am, but not like I used to be.

 

What I am getting at is that this is my last Summer week and I am getting ready for Fall and I am excited but nervous.

 

Have an excellent week!

The Daily Routine

It’s almost nine o’clock and well on my way with my daily routine of coffee, breakfast, Gilmore Girls, an autumn candle lit and trying to write.
I am having serious writers block, so here I am starting a new blog.

Do you realize how hard it is to figure out what your blog should look like, what the title should be etc.
I don’t care if anybody reads it or not, I just need to write.
But I like to remain somewhat anonymous, so coming up with a pen name can take awhile.  Luckily I came up with this one last week.
I am an introvert and I am a minimalist.  So coming up with a blog design that isn’t too boring is difficult.

As for content, well it may be boring sometimes but guess what? I don’t care, it’s my life and boring it may be but I like it!

Five things you should probably know about me if you decide to read my blog:

1. I have a coffee addiction
2. I love to read
3. My obsession with Gilmore Girls is serious
4. I am in love with Fall (it’s only a month away!)
5. I’m a little bit weird but I am okay with that

Have a lovely weekend!

 

P.S. I just received my school textbook in the mail and I’m freaking out.  This is my first and only year of college.