What if the kids don’t like me?
What if I can’t make any friends?
What if I’m dubbed “The Weird Kid”?
I’m going back to school for the first time in seven years. Seven years.
I feel old.
I spent 3 years being depressed.
I spent 3 years and 6 months working.
I spent 3 months being injured.
School: Priceless. I had to. School was actually six grand. That’s a lot of money, but then I am reminded of people who are in debt with their student loans and have courses that cost them thousands of dollars.
I think I got off easy. An eight month course where I get a certificate at the end and a real job.
I could have a normal Monday to Friday job, instead of this retail nonsense where you work weekends.
Just eight months and my boyfriend and I will get weekends off together and can actually plan things.
I could make a decent wage and actually afford to move out. One can not move out on $800 a month.
This is my head right now.
I am convincing myself that I will be okay, that I will pass, that I will like this course and not be wasting six grand.
Then I look over at my ominous textbook and get nervous all over again.
My head is a messy place, example: school is in less than a week, I hope I can get there early to get my name tag and pay for things, I have to drive two hours to get there, will I have enough time for dinner?, I’m not going to get enough to eat, I’m going to be cranky, I’ll have to drink buckets of coffee, I’m never going to see my family or boyfriend, I need a place to study, study…I have to study, oh my gosh I have tests, I suck at tests, I have to work too….I’m really going to have no life until Christmas, I should start counting the days, is it bad to start counting the days until winter break when i haven’t even started school yet? Probably not.
To top it off I had bad coffee this morning, thanks to me lacking the proper tools to grind the beans.
It was brown and didn’t smell strong and just tasted watery.
Problem? A coarse grind is my guess.
I am a coffee snob.